It is Monday and I LOVE Mondays. Why do I love Mondays? Because I get to live the dream on Monday! I get to be a mom and wife ALL day.
Today we worked on the letter N. We read about Noah, worked on our numbers, painted, laughed, danced, made banana and peanut butter ice cream. I tried two new recipes I had pinned on Pinterest, did a little work on A’s birthday party, and wrote a guest post for Not Quite Amish.
But then there was a hiccup in the day. I put my daughter (almost 3) down for her nap. We read a few stories, listened to a few songs and then I left. She was crying but shortly after it stopped! I thought to myself “Excellent! She is sleeping peacefully!” About an hour later she all of the sudden wonders into my office covered from head to toe in something white. She has taken a bottle of baby powder and a bottle of lotion and made the concoction that stopped Ross on Friends from getting his pants back on and put it all over her, her walls, her chocolate brown carpet, her sheets and all the clothes she had removed from her closet. IT WAS THE BIGGEST MESS I HAD EVER SEEN!!!! And what made it even worse is that she did it intentionally so she could get out of her room because as soon as she arrived in my office looking like a walking snow ball she said “I gotta go to brother’s room.”
UG! It was in that moment and the moments following that the dream bubble burst. Maybe I am not cut out for this, maybe I wouldn’t even make a good full time mom, maybe my kids are better off in Preschool full time because their teachers always tell me they are perfect and full of good choices?????
Wow! Isn’t it crazy how quickly we can doubt the dream???
Why couldn’t I just laugh at the above moment, take some pictures, toss her in the tub and move on in our day? It is because in moments like that I feel like a failure. I feel like if I was a better parent she never would have done that. And then there is another part of me that feels guilty thinking maybe if she had more of me she wouldn’t act out this way. Do I sound like a nut, yet??
So how do I recover?
Just because it is a God sized dream doesn’t mean every moment is going to be “dreamy” right? My dream is life…real life that will involve highs and lows. God will do the equipping and provide the reminders. God will provide encouragement through others who have been in the same boat (Yes, I am giving myself a pep talk!).And most importantly God will remind me, through my children, of how many times He has cleansed me of my own messes despite my poor intentions.
So while my reaction, in the moment, to the 2013 Ross Incident wasn’t ideal I can pause now and say thank you to God for walking beside me and thank you to my daughter for needing me and reminding why I dream the dream.
So what little thing did I do for my God sized dream this past week?
I chose my family 1st! They got me and my attention after work, they got me even if that meant forgoing blogging or working towards growing into business. My family got me when I wasn’t working at church and that felt good.